Local English versus British English

While I searching info about palaces in Brunei, I accidentally find this post (click here) which caught my eyes about our Brulish (brunei-english).
Our local version of the English language is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, and some argue more effective. Compare these phrases that we and the Britons use to say the same things. So, why make things so confusing and complicated?

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Locals: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Locals: Hallo, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Locals: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO ! PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Locals: No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Locals: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Locals: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Locals: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Locals: Doe-waaaan!

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Locals: You mad, ah?!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Locals: Shaddap lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Locals: See what, see what?!

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Locals: Die-lah!!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Locals: Wat happen??? Why laidat??? ADUI!!! (jumping to conclusion)

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it, here let me show you.
Locals: Hoi!!! U pig ar!!! Laidat also doe no how to do!!!!